Sugar, Toys and... milk.

Remember when it was mandatory for any cereal targeted at children to have a mascot? This trend started long before the golden year of my birth, 1982, but hit full stride in my lifetime. I couldn't watch Saturday morning or weekday afternoon cartoons without an all-out marketing assault designed for my wide-eyed, ready-to-consume younger self.

The people doing these commercials were very smart. They knew exactly what these 30 second cartoons would cause: me harassing my parents the next time we went to the grocery store. And, God love them, my parents typically indulged me.

This is as good a time as any to say I was such a little bastard. When we went to the grocery store, I either made straight for the cereal aisle or hounded my parents to hurry up with this "real" food mess and get there. To hell with the rest of the store, this was my mecca! Jesus had nothing on Sugar Bear, Cap'n Crunch, the Trix rabbit, Toucan Sam, Sonny, Dig 'em and Lucky. I'd instinctively seek out the boxes with one of my seven sugary heroes on them and then...

Well, I'd have to pick out the one with the coolest toy in it, of course. This was the rule by which all my cereal-buying stuck. It would even cause me to go outside of my normal brands and try something new (which I would typically waste because my cultured and superior palate would reject it for being inferior fluff).

I'd run the length of the aisle multiple times while my parents waited, sometimes patiently/sometimes not, for me to make up my mind. I've always been somewhat indecisive, especially later in life, and I think this is where it all started. Although, once the Ninja Turtles got their own cereal, there was no choice whatsoever. There would be hell to pay if my green mutant friends with their Chex/Lucky Charms amalgamation didn't return from the grocery store. Hell!

I started noticing sometime in the early-2000's that cereal mascots slowly began fading from TV. I recently looked into it more and it's my understanding that, in today's health-conscience society, parents don't want these companies marketing what is essentially sugar in a spoon to their children. This has caused a major reduction in these types of ads. Sure, you can still see a few here and there, but nothing like the saturation of yesteryear. As a health-conscience person, I understand this line of thinking, but am a bit sad to see it go. There was a certain amount of charm and appeal in the characters and they stand as symbols of a more carefree time in my life. Also, I was an idiot kid that let cartoon birds, rabbits and bears sell me cereal. GOD!

I think I still have my most-beloved cereal prizes tucked away in a plastic bin at my mom's house. Maybe someday I'll pull them out and post pics here (because why not?).